I guess your probably wondering what in the Hell happened? I’ll tell you and inform you why, what, who, where, and whens of this whole situation. You probably want to know why i wasnt successful? You probably want to know what i was doing in Nashville? You probably want to know how much money i wasted or was going to waste. You probably want to know how strong i really am, and weather or not im all talk?
Well, OK …fair enough.
I went to Nashville for a pre-tour get together which was for the Extreme Tour. I anticipated but didnt expect much, but after i saw and witnessed how “Legit” they were, my expectations grew. The first day i saw many great bands and solo performers play and was impressed by many. However, I didnt get to perform. That first night we gathered in the main hall of Rocketown 601 4ave S in Nashville and if your not Christian it would have been either very welcoming or not at all. I knew well what i was getting involved with and i was ok with that.
During the first though with all these activities going on let me tell you as a side note. That after arriving at the Nashville airport and getting a taxi to a hotel, and then hurrying to check in at Rocketown by 2pm. After all that i had a whopping $12 left and i hadnt had dinner yet.
Did i have to pay anything to the Extreme Tour?
Answer: No, in fact after they had heard i was in trouble financially, they fed me, found me a ride back to my hotel, fed me more on the second day, (after they picked me up at my hotel), fed me more, educated me with some wonderful mentors from Canada. Then asked me if id consider going…..
Going on tour with this band of Christian Gypsies? Of coarse I most certainly would. This is my kinda people. I prefer to hang with non Christian people for the most part but i knew id fit really well. Almost scary. These were true Brothers and Sisters, and true to the mission of the Lords Call.
So as i sat and thought about the tour and all my hopes and dreams, i weighed my actual life on scale between really being able to go on tour and really the thought of people around me thinking that ive left my kids for this. The guilt of that was weighing very hard on me because i knew thats what people (my closest relatives) really thought. My family, my church, and my…well myself.
I cant walk out on my kids, they mean everything to me. Yes more than my dreams of a music career. Id rather be an electrician and work my ass off and be happy knowing that im here for them. If i wasnt a parent it would be different. Christian or not. Dreams change when your on the providing end.
Reality bites, but i wont have a guilty conscience, im free of burden. I know that opportunities always arise and maybe there will be more for me. I know that when i get another guitar ill be playin again, but until then who knows.
I didnt Rebel, i just accepted my assignment. Without any expectations in return, ive given myself to my children. Perfect or totally imperfect.
There are so many more details to be told, but some of the memories are just mine.